I didn’t know I would fall in love so deeply; I didn’t know how it felt to love. I never in a million years saw myself becoming a mother or a stay at home mother. Since I was 16 I had two jobs. I put myself through college while working full time. I was the go getter, I wanted to be successful. Successful to me was my education, my title and my job. I never was the little girl who dreamed of a wedding or having children. My goals we set. I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to be able to take care of my parents one day.
Everything changed when I met him. It was like this weird feeling that I never had. I cared for someone else other than myself and my goals. I hate to admit it but I was a selfish person, in my defense I was in my early 20s. But for the first time I really cared for him. I wanted to help him become successful. He’s success was my success. He changed me. If he didn’t I probably would have never of made it through our rocky start. I would like to say it was love at first sight but it wasn’t it was a little complicated. He became my friend. A friend I trusted my secretes with. He is my husband and as imperfect as he is I would choose him every single time.
Our love story hasn’t been unicorns and rainbows its been a lot of work. Its been heart ache and road blocks. There is a lot to our story and I will eventually share. However, falling in love with him opened all the right doors. When my first daughter was born. I can’t even explain my emotions. I thought he was my entire love and when she was here I could never of imagined my life without here. She made me feel so complete. My whole life was in the palm of that little hand. I kept asking myself at one point in my life I never thought I wanted to be a mom. At one point in my life I would of never of gave up my career for anything. Right now I’m a stay at home mom enjoying every single moment.
When my second daughter was born I was so scared. How could I love anything more? Am I capable of having more love in my heart? What if my first doesn’t feel loved anymore? All of my fears seem so silly now. My heart holds the love of all three. My husband and my daughters. Life without either one I could never imagine. They fill me with such joy. Even on our hard days, which with a toddler can happen, I would never change it. I would never change one thing. I’m so happy with my life and so happy with the decisions I have made. They have completed me in so many ways. They have helped me grow as a person, they have showed me a side of myself that I didn’t even know I had.
I do have to be honest. I did somewhat complete a part of my life goal. While I was pregnant with my second I took the LSAT and I applied for Law School. I got in! I was good enough to become a lawyer. In that moment I cried. I worked so hard and I somewhat made it. Whether I ever go to school is here nor there. My life goals changed and I have came to realize that’s ok. As life goes on sometimes thing change. Goals change and wants change.